Entries in needs (5)


The Silver Lining to Sacrificing for Your Partner

It is probably easy for most people who have been in a long-term relationship to think of a time (probably many times!) when they gave up something they wanted for their partner. These relationship sacrifices can be quite costly, since they’re often time consuming and undesirable activities, like spending a Saturday night with your partner’s friends instead of your own. In this article, I want to talk about the silver lining of making sacrifices—the benefits that we don’t always think about when we’re stuck in traffic to pick up a partner’s dry cleaning or watching Love Actually for the 12th time.

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3 Lesson Learned from My Unplugged Vacation

My blended family (ages 5, 6, 7, 11, and 13) just returned from a weeklong road trip through Yellowstone National Park. During the trip, we conducted our own mini-experiment: Each of us eliminated electronic use for anything other than music. No iPhone apps, no social media, no electronic games, no texting or phone calls unless there was an emergency. There was almost no cell phone reception across the park, which made enforcement easy, but the results of our self-inflicted ‘mandatory’ unplugging still surprised me in three fundamental ways:

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A Careful Balance of Care

Giving and receiving care is an essential part of relationships. But how do you know just how giving you should be or how much you should expect others to give in return? Research indicates that there are two common types of relationships people engage in to ensure balanced giving and receiving.

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Are You GGG? The Benefits of Sexual Communal Strength

GGG is a term coined by sex columnist Dan Savage to represent the qualities that he thinks make a good sexual partner. GGG stands for 'good, giving, and game.’ Think 'good in bed,' 'giving of equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'" We know from previous research that people who are more motivated to respond to their partner’s needs (high in communal strength) report higher relationship satisfaction and feel more intrinsic joy after making a sacrifice for their partner. But, do the benefits of being ‘giving’ and ‘game’ translate to the sexual domain of a relationship as Dan Savage would suggest?

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Karney & Bradbury - Fundamental Needs

Relationship researchers Drs. Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury discuss the basic human need for admiration, validation, love, and security (from the PSB series This Emotional Life). Read more about fundamental needs and relationships here.

See more from Drs. Karney and Bradbury here and here.